28-year-old people-pleaser pretends to like her husband's lasagna for 3 years, decides to come clean to end her suffering: “Should I fake a dairy allergy?”

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    I've been pretending to love my partner's "famous" lasagna for 3 years and now it's too late to come clean

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    My (28F) partner (33M) makes this lasagna that he swears is "legendary." He made it for me when we first started dating and I panicked and said, "This is amazing!" It was... fine. The noodles were
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    undercooked, the ricotta was cold in the middle, and he uses cottage cheese for some reason?? But I saw how proud he was. He said, "I don't cook much, but this is the one thing I nail every time."
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    I didn't have the heart to say anything. And now, every single special occasion, the lasagna comes out. Birthday? Lasagna. Promotion? Lasagna. Sick day? Lasagna. I've been living in a Garfield-flavored
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    prison. It gets worse: he made it for my parents when they visited... and they hated it. My dad whispered, "Is this a joke?" I panicked again and told him, "They're just not used to the seasoning." I've created a monster. He's talking about entering it into a local cooking competition.
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    I don't know how to get out of this lasagna lie. Do I fake a dairy allergy? Say I've suddenly discovered I'm gluten-free? Help.
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    Most_Nebula9655 Get him a gift of a cooking class so he can learn some new hits (not because he needs to learn how to cook, obviously).
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    Capable-Praline8234 OP, this! If it was an Italian course specifically he might even get to try a decent lasagne and come to his own realisations...
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    Humble-Koala-5853 I was thinking that an Italian-inspired cooking class might also encourage him to make his own modifications to his lasagna and OP can then guide him towards improvements. Maybe a
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    class where you make your own sauce and play around with seasoningins or a class where you make ravioli or stuff shells and play around with different cheeses.
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    "Oh this sauce with seasoning is delicious, you should make this sauce and put it in your famous lasagna!"
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    "These ravioli with vegtables and ricotta are amazing! Imagine putting this filling in your lasagna!"
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    asphynctersayswhat He said he can't cook, only the Lasagna "You're lasagna is so good I thought this class would help. you make more dishes like that!" boom..
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    Opposite Barracuda33 I work in a kitchen full of men, once they think they know how to cook something whether it's wrong or not, they will never change. You could tell him all you want but he probably won't listen to critique about something he thinks he's nailing
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    Buncha Malarkey123 No. Help him improve it. Give him little "tips" and feedback. Make it with him and slowly improve it over time. If you could commit to the act of loving it for 3 years, then you can do this. Please spare him the embarrassment.
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    "Honey I had some ideas for your lasagna dish. Can we turn it into OUR special dish??" Just tweak one thing at a time.
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    LetFun7793 OP Yu're right... I did this. I created the lasagna lie, and now it's my burden to bear. Turning it into 'our' dish might be my only path to redemption. I'll start small maybe suggest preheating the oven so the cheese isn't cryogenically frozen in the center. Baby steps. Pray for me
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    westhawk777 He's not preheating the oven?!
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    Gabriella-mystic Totally agree it's all about kindness and collaboration. Helping him grow without hurting his confidence is such a thoughtful approach. Turning it into a shared project makes it feel special instead of critical. Little tweaks over time can make a big difference, and it shows love and respect in the process.
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    344567653379643555 Nah. Just come clean. Rip the bandaid off.
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    bexxaberry Start sprinkling in questions about the recipe, if he's changed it? say something taste different about it and that suddenly you don't like it anymore. Something along those lines.
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    BigMrAC I like this. Maybe ask if he changed brands of ingredients, something tastes a bit "different" and then offer to evolve it. Yours, mine, and ours conversation. You have "your recipe", which I enjoyed, but let's try "our recipe for the future"
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    AggrievedGoose You get out of a white lie by admitting you're a people pleaser who lies to make people feel better. Your partner has seen you white lying before, so he'll know it's consistent with your personality to say whatever he wants to hear instead of the ugly truth. Next time someone serves you bad food, say thank you and take a few bites to show your appreciation. Do NOT compliment the chef.
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    aggirloftoday Wouldn't that be funny if he knew and had been playing along all this time to see how far she would let this go? I mean how does he not know it's terrible himself, frozen in the middle? Lol
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    mambotomato I have been trying to think of graceful exits, but... you might just need to live in Lasagna Prison. The things we do for love... (Maybe try to get him hooked on making a different showpiece food, instead?)
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    frankydie69 Everyone saying to "give suggestions" or to "help make it ours" is very oblivious to the fact that Op has been lying for three years. This is beyond "fixing" a plate and it's not about cooking anymore.
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    If it was like a few months after sure give suggestions, but it's been three years and the lie has grown so big that the boyfriend believes his dish is great, why would he add or change anything when his biggest supporter in the world has been basically giving him a thumbs up for three years?
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    lydocia Personally, I'm a fan of radical honesty in a relationship so I would definitely have come clean or come clean now.

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